Bang head {here}.

So I just realized it's been over a month since my last post, January just plain sucked, but I'll post about that later.  Right now, I'm having one of those moments with G that make me hate everyone in the world who is so lucky to have a house full of NT kids.  Bottom line, G does not know how to handle stress.  The school had a local psychologist come in and evaluate G last year and offered up several suggestions.  The Resource Teacher was at a little bit of a loss after some behaviors G has exhibited this week so she went back to her old notes from this psychologist and came up with a new chart for G.  The chart works for G at school, but by the time he gets home, he has so much pent up stress from trying to stay under control that he just LOSES it.  As soon as I opened the door from him getting home today, he immediately started pushing me, yelling at me, hitting me, writing inappropriate things on paper, saying things like, "I want this world to end" and "stop crying, I hate crying!", it's too much on days like this.  I feel so isolated during these moments, it sucks. I watch people post pictures of their perfect NT kids on FB to show off how healthy and awesome there kids and life are but the thought of me posting a picture of my son kills me, no one would understand what hides behind his eyes.  I know he's hurting inside because he does know better, he just can't help himself.  I hate FB on days like today.  Is it ok to go bang my own head for not learning all I should fast enough to help him?