Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Frustration = OCD

There are certain things in life that I literally can not wrap my head around and understand.  I do have some OCD in me and when certain things arise, I get a little obsessed trying to figure it out.  Sometimes, my brain finally hops on board and things click, other times, I leave absolutely frustrated and not really mad, but upset with myself for being so stupid (yes, I know not everyone is going to be amazing at everything they encounter but it doesn't hurt to try).  Here is a list of things I wish my brain would work harder to acheive....

1: The dang Rubiks Cube.  This is an obsession if I get started on this cube of many colors.  I will ALWAYS get one side with one solid color except for one stupid square that is taunting me as if to say, "ha ha, you suck and I won't let you win my pet!".  Frustrating.  Why can't my brain see the logic behind how to get that last square to match the others???

2: Algebra.  Am I doing algebra in my everyday living and not even knowing it?  I admit, I did cheat my way through algebra to pass the course.  Pretty awful right?  Well, you gotta do what you gotta do to get through life sometimes (not that I condone cheating but algebra is hard!!).  I to this day do not understand formulas and don't know why my brain won't dance with this mean subject.  My children will get personal tutors if they need help in math because I married a guy who is just as dumb as me.

3: Mechanics of the brain.  This is an obsession if I get started on my quest to understand all the proteins, genes, neuropathways etc..  For obvious reasons, I'm obsessed to find WHY my child is Autistic.  Why is his brain not functioning like mine?  I've been led through the world of internet studies and read MANY pages of medical journals that you'd think I could give all the right answers on this subject but I can't.  So frustrating.

4: Organizing.  If I start to clean and really organize a room and then get pulled away, the chances of me coming back to finish are pretty slim.  I constantly look around my office and see so many piles and just can't seem to figure out how to organize in such a way that makes sense (don't get me started on my kitchen, that is another issue).  Why can't my brain organize?  I have filing drawers, I have cabinets, I have a closet and yet, my desk is a disaster because I feel overwhelmed with all the paperwork from doctors, school, church, bank, etc...  I think this may be adult ADD.

5: HTML coding.  No matter how many resources I read and learn about this computer language, I get more and more messed up.  I've tried and failed on so many attempts to write my own coding for my blogs but things always missfire.  I think I could solve this one if I didn't keep trying to go it alone, maybe take an actual course on the subject but that would mean having to actually study and learn in a classroom which my brain is so baby-fried that I think I'd fall asleep in class and forget to study.  Frustrating.

Moral of my story, Frustration = OCD but doesn't always come with the outcome you are wanting.  Keep on Truckin' I guess!

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